I made her..she is different. She is unique. With LOVE I formed her in her mother's womb.
I fashioned her with great joy. I remember, with great pleasure, the day I created her.
(Psalm 139: 13-16)
I love her smile. I love her ways. I love to hear her laugh. And the silly things she says and
does. She brings me great pleasure. This is how I made her.
(Psalm 139: 1-6)
I made her pretty and not beautiful, because I knew her heart and knew she would be vain....
I wanted her to search out her heart and learn that it would be ME in her that would make her
beautiful...and it would be ME in her that would draw friends to her.
(1 Peter 3:3-5)
I made her in such a way, that she would need me. I made her a little more lonesome than
she would like to be...Only because I need for her to learn to depend on me...I know her heart,
I know if I had not made her like this she would go her own chosen way and forget me...her creator.
(Psalm 62:5-8)
I have given her many good and happy things..because I love her. Because I love her, I have
also broken her heart..and the tears she has cried alone I have cried with her, and had a broken
heart too.
(Psalm 56:8)
Many times she has stumbled and fallen alone, only because she would not hold my hand. So
many lessons she's learned the hard way because she would not listen to my voice...
(Isaiah 41:13)
So many times I have sat back and sadly watched her go her merry way alone only to watch her
return to My arms, sad and broken.
(Isaiah 65:2)
And now she is mine again...I made her, and then I bought her..Because I love her.
(Romans 5:8)
I have to reshape and mold her..to renew her to what I have planned for her to be. It has not
been easy for her or for me.
(Jeremiah 29:11)
I want her to be conformed to My Image..this high goal I have set for her, because I Love Her.
(2 Corinthians 2:14)
Friday, December 19, 2008
Thursday, December 18, 2008
Feeling Good
Last night was more than I could have imagined... I first have to thank Brigitte once again for inviting me to third Wednesday at Rock Harbor. I feel like my heart is opening up and letting the Love pour in.
I must start by saying, that I have been very hesitant about opening my heart to God again through a different church. Being a catholic, I feel like I'm doing something wrong by going to another non-catholic church. I've decided to let that not bother me anymore. I need to open my heart and let God in.
Third Wednesday was such a wonderful experience. I love the singing the most, I love to sing and let it all out.... I feel that it's a great outlet and first step to letting God know that I'm here and I'm ready.
I felt moved with what was said last night as well... Matthew 9:36-38 talks about how Jesus had compassion for those who did not know him and how they were like sheep without a shepherd. I feel like I'm a sheep and I can see my shepherd, but I keep him just far enough away that I know that he is there and I can see him, but I haven't let him get to close lately.
I'm ready to discover... I'm ready to learn... I'm ready to let His LOVE in!
As a side note, I'm going to try and be better about posting all my feelings, even the unpopular ones or the ones that I'm having a hard time vocalizing.
That being said, starting to let God in scares me a little because I'm not sure how Tim is going to react. He's a wonderful boyfriend and I know that he will be supportive, but it's always hard for me because I'm not sure how to approach him with religon.
I must start by saying, that I have been very hesitant about opening my heart to God again through a different church. Being a catholic, I feel like I'm doing something wrong by going to another non-catholic church. I've decided to let that not bother me anymore. I need to open my heart and let God in.
Third Wednesday was such a wonderful experience. I love the singing the most, I love to sing and let it all out.... I feel that it's a great outlet and first step to letting God know that I'm here and I'm ready.
I felt moved with what was said last night as well... Matthew 9:36-38 talks about how Jesus had compassion for those who did not know him and how they were like sheep without a shepherd. I feel like I'm a sheep and I can see my shepherd, but I keep him just far enough away that I know that he is there and I can see him, but I haven't let him get to close lately.
I'm ready to discover... I'm ready to learn... I'm ready to let His LOVE in!
As a side note, I'm going to try and be better about posting all my feelings, even the unpopular ones or the ones that I'm having a hard time vocalizing.
That being said, starting to let God in scares me a little because I'm not sure how Tim is going to react. He's a wonderful boyfriend and I know that he will be supportive, but it's always hard for me because I'm not sure how to approach him with religon.
Monday, December 15, 2008
A new day... A new week
I must start by saying.... I had a GREAT weekend. It's so nice to just be home and not have any worries or be bothered by a thing.
Here's a recap of the weekend. Friday was date night with Gonzo, since Tim had to work. We had sushi at Kanpai and then went to see Twilight.
I have to admit, the movie was okay. I have said this a few times in the last couple of days and I'm going to say it again. I can understand why young teenage girls like this movie. It's the fantasy that prince charming is going to come and save you. Life is so much more complicated than that, but I remember when I was in high school Titanic came out and I'm sure I was the same way. Gonzo and I laughed the whole way through the movie, and actually got rathered annoyed at the constant giggles and whispering of the lines from the girls behind us.
Saturday I didn't wake up until 10:30am. Which was BEAUTIFUL! I love sleeping in, and I love that Tim lets me sleep until I feel the need to get up. He's a keeper on that alone! After I made us breakfast I went and finished up some last minute Christmas shopping and sent out my Christmas cards. I feel like I accomplished so much. Oh, did I mention that I found a killer deal at HOBIE
I got my brother and Tim clothes. In total I got two pairs of board shorts, two pairs of pants, five shirts, and a pair of shoes for $220. I was so impressed with my find! I was told by the girl at the store that they have the sale all the time. They also have great girly clothes. I think I'm going to go back to shop for myself after the new year.
Saturday night just got better though... Gonzo came over with the neighbors and we started drinking and watching TV. Brigitte showed up after her Christmas party as well as Tim's friend Justin. We drank and played Rockband until four in the morning. I was impressed I could stay up that late!
As a side note... I really like Tim's friend Justin, but I get a little nervous/insecure when he's around now. He recently or currently is going through a divorce, and he's has this life that is free. I'm worried that Tim will find it very appealling and want the same. I know it sounds silly but I worry about these things. Tim and I talked about it and rest assure, I have nothing to fear.
Sunday, was funday.... I slept until 11:00am, got up and watched Chargers football which was amazing. Did the laundry, cooked, and then went to see The Day the Earth Stood Still. Another bummer of a movie. I'm not a huge sci-fi fan but I can usually get through them. I thought it was corny an Keanu plays the same glassed over look character.
Now, here is to a new day and a new week. I'm happier this week than last which is always good for the heart. It's rainy out and I wish I were home snuggled up in a blanket on the couch with Tim. A girl's gotta make a living though, so I'm out stomping through the water waiting for three o'clock to come.
Here's a recap of the weekend. Friday was date night with Gonzo, since Tim had to work. We had sushi at Kanpai and then went to see Twilight.
I have to admit, the movie was okay. I have said this a few times in the last couple of days and I'm going to say it again. I can understand why young teenage girls like this movie. It's the fantasy that prince charming is going to come and save you. Life is so much more complicated than that, but I remember when I was in high school Titanic came out and I'm sure I was the same way. Gonzo and I laughed the whole way through the movie, and actually got rathered annoyed at the constant giggles and whispering of the lines from the girls behind us.
Saturday I didn't wake up until 10:30am. Which was BEAUTIFUL! I love sleeping in, and I love that Tim lets me sleep until I feel the need to get up. He's a keeper on that alone! After I made us breakfast I went and finished up some last minute Christmas shopping and sent out my Christmas cards. I feel like I accomplished so much. Oh, did I mention that I found a killer deal at HOBIE
I got my brother and Tim clothes. In total I got two pairs of board shorts, two pairs of pants, five shirts, and a pair of shoes for $220. I was so impressed with my find! I was told by the girl at the store that they have the sale all the time. They also have great girly clothes. I think I'm going to go back to shop for myself after the new year.
Saturday night just got better though... Gonzo came over with the neighbors and we started drinking and watching TV. Brigitte showed up after her Christmas party as well as Tim's friend Justin. We drank and played Rockband until four in the morning. I was impressed I could stay up that late!
As a side note... I really like Tim's friend Justin, but I get a little nervous/insecure when he's around now. He recently or currently is going through a divorce, and he's has this life that is free. I'm worried that Tim will find it very appealling and want the same. I know it sounds silly but I worry about these things. Tim and I talked about it and rest assure, I have nothing to fear.
Sunday, was funday.... I slept until 11:00am, got up and watched Chargers football which was amazing. Did the laundry, cooked, and then went to see The Day the Earth Stood Still. Another bummer of a movie. I'm not a huge sci-fi fan but I can usually get through them. I thought it was corny an Keanu plays the same glassed over look character.
Now, here is to a new day and a new week. I'm happier this week than last which is always good for the heart. It's rainy out and I wish I were home snuggled up in a blanket on the couch with Tim. A girl's gotta make a living though, so I'm out stomping through the water waiting for three o'clock to come.
Thursday, December 11, 2008
Yay! Finished
I finished my quilt top tonight! I'm giving it to my parents for Xmas. I'm so excited to give it to them.
You have to understand my parents. They act like they are still newlyweds. They sit and watch TV every night holding hands or my Mom lays down on the couch and rests her head on my Dad's lap. I think that they will really enjoy it.
I found the perfect backing for it. It is bright, bright red minky with raised dots. I can't wait to show you all!
Quilting makes me so happy.... I love doing it, and I love sharing it. It makes me feel a little like an old lady but I really don't care. Thanks for letting me share.
One more thing... I absolutely love that Tim likes to "brag" about my quilting. I think it's cute and makes me feel good that I know he supports me.
You have to understand my parents. They act like they are still newlyweds. They sit and watch TV every night holding hands or my Mom lays down on the couch and rests her head on my Dad's lap. I think that they will really enjoy it.
I found the perfect backing for it. It is bright, bright red minky with raised dots. I can't wait to show you all!
Quilting makes me so happy.... I love doing it, and I love sharing it. It makes me feel a little like an old lady but I really don't care. Thanks for letting me share.
One more thing... I absolutely love that Tim likes to "brag" about my quilting. I think it's cute and makes me feel good that I know he supports me.
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
This is for my GIRLS
I'm very very bad about posting but I'm going to get better... I know this blog is miles from either of yours but I'm going to have to start somewhere, and it might as well be right here. I'm nervous a little about you guys reading my blog, but I will get use to it over time. I'm happy I have friends like you to read and understand what I'm trying to say!
Thanks for being great friends!
I Hate my JOB!
I just can't handle it anymore... I'm tired of going to work everyday and having them expect the world of me. I'm tired of the trainees asking me for something every five seconds! What happened to just going to work and being a tech? Getting my work done within the alloted time and still having time to socialize? I'm tired of the carrot dangling in front of my face and never getting to eat it! I need a break! I need a vacation.... Actually a vacation will make is worse, because it will be the same shit when I get back!!!!
I feel bad that I just spent the last hour venting to Tim. I vent to him all the time because I think that he understands. I now feel sorry that I do it because it leads to the comment of "I'm just not stoked right now." I don't know what to do with that comment. I can understand not being stoked about your girlfriend unloading her hatred for work for an hour, that's got to really suck!
I just need a break, I want to tell my boss that I just want to be a tech. I don't want to be an evaluator or trainer. I just want to be able to come into work, get my work list for the day, and go into the lab and complete my work. I want to hang up my union steward hat for awhile and stop listening to everyone else's problems. Why doesn't anyone ask me how I'm doing? If I have any problems that need to be fixed? Maybe I need to stop walking around with a big smile on my face and honestly answer the question "How are you?"
You know, venting on blogger makes me feel better.... This blog is Life, Love and Kate.... This is me, all of me. It maybe happy, bitchy, sad, or just plain honest...... but it's me!
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